Sylvester Stallone Charged With Just Trying To Give Loyal Australian Fans A Look At His Circa-1985 Body
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, suspiciously muscular fading action star Sylvester Stallone was officially charged with illegally importing 48 vials of human growth hormone into Australia during a promotional trip for career Hail Mary Rocky Balboa, bringing the dangerous fugitive from worldwide fame one step closer to international celebrity justice:
If found guilty, Stallone faces a maximum fine of $22,000 in the local courts jurisdiction. He came to the attention of authorities after a routine baggage search at Sydney Airport allegedly unearthed a prohibited substance.
Court documents allege customs officers found five boxes of the growth hormone Jintropin when Stallone got off Qantas flight QF8 from the United States on February 16.
Stallone's lawyer doesn't have to enter a plea until late April, at which time he's expected to read the same kind of heart-tugging, guilt-evoking appeal the actor repeatedly offered to the America media during the domestic leg of his big comeback junket. After an Australian judge hears Stallone's impassioned claim that he only brought along the HGH because he didn't want to let down the fans who unfairly expected his sexagenarian body to be as strong as the legendary piece of iron that couldn't be broken by even the most powerful blows of a Cold War-era Russian killing machine, he'll undoubtedly let the humbled onetime superstar off with a slap on the wrist and a promise to buy to Rocky Balboa on DVD the moment it's available.
