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In shocking news that will be revealed on Friday's episode of ABC group therapy series The View (or right now in wire stories circulating the internets at the speed of light), entertainingly combative TV personality Rosie O'Donnell admits that she's been treated for depression ever since the Columbine shootings, a healing regiment that includes both the use of dangerous, Cruise-bedeviling street-drugs and the therapeutic defiance of gravity:

"I couldn't stop crying," she said on an episode taped for ABC's "The View" and due to air Friday. "I stayed in my room. The lights were off. I couldn't get out of bed and that's when I started taking medication."

Anyone concerned about the stigma of taking medication for depression should know that "it saved my life," she said.

When she began taking antidepressants, O'Donnell, 44, said she began yoga and "inversion therapy," where she hangs upside down by a swing for 15 to 30 minutes a day. She demonstrates it on "The View."

Now that O'Donnell's gone public with her struggles, it's impossible not to see her televised, acting-out behaviors—the prolonged feuds with megalomaniacal reality show hosts, the tossed-off accusations of institutional racism and weightism in popular karaoke competitions, the occasional dalliance in heterosexual soft-core pornography—in a new and more sympathetic light; we expect that even frequently brutalized co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck will be able to gain some perspective on their strained relationship, generously offering to allow O'Donnell to pause at any time during her daily throttling for an inversion therapy break, with the option to resume the altercation where they left off should that not sufficiently clear her head.