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According to the Panama Tourism Bureau, the go-to source for breaking news about Mel Gibson's career, the director's search for a location in which he can continue to ply his trade without the interference of the bedeviling Jews who denied his Mayan-language masterwork Apocalypto the Oscar recognition it so richly deserved has landed him in their fine country, where a refreshingly open-minded Gibson was even willing to hear pitches for his next project from Panama's leading crooner:

Gibson dined Sunday night with Ruben Blades, a tourism spokesman and singer, who suggested his next project should be a remake of the 1950 film noir "Panic in the Streets," set in Panama, the Panama Tourism Bureau said in a news release.

Panamanian filmmaker Jose Severino was quoted in Monday editions of the daily newspaper La Prensa as saying that he was in negotiations with Gibson to produce a movie about Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa, the first European to see the Pacific Ocean from its eastern shore.

While the tourist board is understandably excited about the avalanche of money and favorable publicity that a Gibson visit would bring to Panama, they should heed the cautionary tale told by the Mayan community after they had a chance to screen Apocalypto; while Gibson would promise that a movie about Balboa's explorations would be a celebration of 16th century Panamanian culture, the final product would probably wind up full of graphically violent scenes depicting the natives as gay cannibals whom the righteous Spanish conquistador was forced to feed to his dogs.

[Photo: Getty Images]