Hello. This is your Defamer associate editor, just here to inform you that Mark is away today on "business," i.e. camped outside CBS Television City on Beverly Blvd. holding a large, glittery poster board reading "SANJAYA ROCKS MY WORLD!!!," eagerly anticipating attendance at tonight's American Idol elimination round. (Don't worry, Mark! Your boy's gotta be safe!) He'll be away tomorrow, as well, for an equally humiliating reason we'll hopefully come up with by then. In the meantime, I'll do everything in my power to make this as pleasant an experience as possible, short of sweet-talking you into joining me in the Air Defamer lavatory for some sky-high shenanigans. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

-Seth