Mormon World Domination Will Not Be Thwarted By Upper East Side Doormen
They might have a fancy new building on the Upper East Side, but that doesn't mean that the Mormons are having an easy time of converting their fancy neighbors! The Sun reports:
Church doctrine emphasizes proselytizing, and neighborhood missionaries hoping to convert new members have their work cut out for them. "This area is tough, because missionaries just can't get access to so many buildings," Bishop Jensen said.
But really, have you ever known a Mormon to be discouraged by a doorman? Hell no. They're crafty, those Latter-Day Saints types!
Because building security so often precludes going door-to-door, New York missionaries must seek out would-be converts in other ways. Last Saturday, for example, six missionaries spent an hour handing out hot chocolate and religious literature on East 86th Street, near Second Avenue. About a dozen people picked up brochures and DVDs, and a few even vowed to visit the Upper East Side church.
Hot chocolate! Xenu never gave anyone hot chocolate! Perhaps they'll really give Scientologists a run for their money now. If not them, at least maybe the DUMBO pocket-protector set. They're cute, the Witnesses, but really, so dull after sex.
