Oscar-Nominated Celebrities: They Order In-N-Out While Protected By A Security Detail, Just Like Us!
We are disappointed anew by each firsthand report we receive from readers recounting their run-ins with celebrities they've caught performing the life-perpetuating acts of eating, drinking, or excreting, as we prefer to stubbornly maintain our belief that the Creator frees the famous from these messy, mortal routines, allowing them to be preserved in the pristine state of the exact moment in which He first chose them for eternal greatness. Imagine, then, the letdown we experienced upon reading about how one of this year's Oscar nominees carelessly allowed herself to be seen sullying her physical vessel on the one night that should be dedicated to upholding our possibly delusional ideas about her perfection:
So we were doing the total fan thing. We live in the desert and didn't realize that Hollywood had better security on Oscar night than any President had ever seen...but still we drove on. In the drive through at In-N-Out on Sunset, about 30 minutes after the show, we were behind on huge SUV and another security filled SUV.
One guard hopped out and stood watch over the lead vehicle. The window of the large one opened in the back revealing one Penelope Cruz. My wife and I both took note that the Governor's Ball had barely started, was she perhaps a bit miffed?
For the naysayers out there....it was confirmed by the drive through dude. We did not lead him on the question. He said, "That was Penelope Cruz..she was a total hottie!" In our constant cry for underfed actresses to have one, we were pleased she actually ATE a cheeseburger.
If celebrities are going to insist on destroying our image of them as ethereal beings with no need for greasy sustenance (even the delicious, In-N-Out kind), we'd prefer they go about it the way that Helen Mirren did at the Vanity Fair Oscar party: by lustily engaging in some deep-throating burgerporn before the eager lenses of wire service photographers. We might as well get some cheap jollies out of having our cherished beliefs crushed.
