Time to assess the seething, festering id of the world west of the Hudson as explained in the pages of PARADE magazine! Oh, America, what's on your mind? Well, since you asked, Rosalind Wiseman—the lady who wrote Mean Girls before Tina Fey did— says bullying is worse than ever, because of "the Internet." Also, puberty:

For example, a student uses her cell-phone camera to take a picture of a classmate changing clothes after gym, then uploads it onto her computer and forwards it to friends along with cruel commentary.

Um, hot! Also, wait until they get to college!

Meanwhile, genius MILF Marilyn vos Savant uses her massive IQ to answer such questions as: "When not playing a CD, which side should you leave face-up: the silver side or the label side?" We're not telling; you're going to have to read it for yourself! For more MvS, see the "Marilyn's Readers Respond" web addendum, where said readers attempt to discern "What it Really Means When an Object is Level."

Moving on, movie pal Jeanne Wolff tells us that "picking the winners can be tricky," but bravely offers 10 Sure Bets About the Oscars anyway. And lest we forget: exclusive pictures of former Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry. (To the PARADE insiders out there: contact tips@gawker.com with any intelligence on how these weekly photo-shoot subjects are picked.)

On the Choose-Your-Own-Dictator front, 68% of PARADErs still bizarrely favor Isayas Afewerki, president of Eritrea, as their choice of World's Nastiest Man. This, in a field of 20—including household names like Kim Jong Il and Vlad Putin—and with 43,482 votes cast! Yes indeed, we have much to learn yet about our mysterious weekend friends out there in America....