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We at Defamer realize that time is preciously short for the still-dateless to find suitable, barely legal companionship for their various Oscar-related social obligations, and so we're committed to doing our part to help the industry's twink-loving lonelyhearts connect with the boyish consorts of their dreams. With this sacred mission in mind, we reach out to assist this anonymous Craigslist seeker in his efforts to cast a date who can play the part of "I don't even know this child who just climbed into my limo when I wasn't looking, officer," but who is actually old enough not to earn the ad's author any jail time:

seeking boy 18+ that looks 16 for A-List Oscar party - m4m - 18 This is your chance- seeking hot young white boy to be my date to the hottest party of the year. Must be over 18 but if you look 12 all the better. You will meet the biggest of the big stars. No sex required or expected (though won't be refused). Pictures a must please send ASAP. Limo provided..

We're sure that after a picture proving one's middle-school-quality (note how the desired age dropped four years from the headline to the body of the ad) good looks, the mystery of what "A-list" and "hottest" event is being offered will be revealed, allowing the lucky almost-jailbait to know whether to dress to impress the Vanity Fair post-party or CAA pre-Oscar orgy crowds.