With the country once again infected with an uncontained outbreak of American Idol fever—we're sporting our Team Sundance T-shirts as we type this!— the savvy entrepreneurs behind the phenomenon have shown no shortage of creativity in capitalizing on America's seemingly insatiable hunger for finding tomorrow's Céline-Dion-ballad-belting, 1980s-jumpsuit-wearing superstars today. The latest brand extension: Idol Camp, where for a nominal fee (with scholarships available so that all those poor families who pin their entire futures on their kids making the cut can participate), your child can spend 10 intensive days on a Massuchusetts campus learning the fundamentals that will eventually give them that crucial leg-up on the approximately 35,000 other contestants they'll face when they reach qualifying age. Stunningly, actual "former Idols" will be on hand to coach your child to victory, and with a wildly diverse curriculum—everything from "Sing Sing Sing!" to "Idol Style" to the "Feel The Rhythm" drumming workshop ("Intro to Beatboxing" is pending)—they'll return with a newly acquired arsenal of performing skills, though sorely lacking in the self-defense training they'll need to avoid being pummeled by classmates who discovered how they spent their summer vacations.