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An IBM chip plant machinist in upstate New York has sued the company for $5 million, claiming he was wrongfully terminated after being caught logging in to sex chat rooms at work. James Pacenza doesn't deny the sextalk, but he says he's an addict who uses the chat-porn to deal with his post-traumatic stress from Vietnam. No, really:

I felt I needed the interactive engagement of chat talk to divert my attention from my thoughts of Vietnam and death. ... I was tempting myself to perhaps become involved in some titillating conversation.

That may be, soldier, but remember one thing: Charlie don't wank!