Hey, remember 2004, when Britney Spears hung out with her mom-jeansed assistant Felicia Culotta all the time? You know, Felicia! FE! The lady immortalized in Britney's genius Honeymoon Poem:

A Honeymoon at last, to get away from it all/ My assistant Fe gave me the call

Now Fe has issued a different kind of call to Britney: a call to her senses.

The Post reports that Culotta wrote this letter in response to questions posed by blogger Ruben, the former webmaster of the defunct WorldofBritney.com who now runs ThatOtherBlog.com. For a certain type of person (us), it's worth going over there and reading the whole crazy mess. But if you don't have enough time or brain cells to spare, these are the highlights:

I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding.......
I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she'll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.
There's just so much you can do to help a person—I don't dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY.

Oh, wait, maybe this is the best part:

With as much sincerity as I can Muster, —FE


Felicia Culotta Finally Breaks Her Silence [That Other Blog]

Ex-Aide's Last Call To Brit [NYPost]