Monday Morning Box Office: B.O. Yard Re-Stomped
We think Sartre said it best: "Hell is other people; also, Monday mornings." As you embark on yet another seemingly endless work week, distract yourselves from your existential dread with the box office numbers:
1. Stomp the Yard—$13.3 million
2. Night at the Museum—$13 million
With their minds preoccupied with getting their Oscar hopefuls onto some more screens in anticipation of tomorrow's nominations announcement, the studios couldn't be bothered to provide the moviegoing public with new options this weekend, save an ill-advised remake of The Hitcher. Those not inclined to seek out contenders like The Queen or Babel, but who were still committed to their obligatory weekly trip to the multiplex, found themselves joylessly engaged in repeat viewings of yard-stomping and Ben Stiller while daydreaming of the Eddie-Murphy-in-a-rubber-fat-lady-suit delights that Norbit will deliver in early February.
3. Dreamgirls—$8.711 million
In a move clearly designed to appease awards-season distribution strategy critic Jamie Foxx, Paramount/DreamWorks expanded Dreamgirls into an additional 307 theaters.
4. The Hitcher—$8.234 million
Not content with tainting the horror classics of our youth with utterly pointless remakes, Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes plans on expanding its operation into comedy, and is currently pursuing the rights to produce a shot-for-shot update of Better Off Dead cast entirely from One Tree Hill's talent pool. Chad Michael Murray will begin skiing-on-one-ski lessons shortly to prepare for an expected offer of the Lane Meyer role.
5. The Pursuit of Happyness—$6.7 million
Will Smith has finally identified his Happyness follow-up project: A Good Cry, which will be comprised of a two-hour long close-up tracking the descent of a single, noble tear down the universally likable actor's cheek.