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The moment that hit-starved Fox executives have been anxiously awaiting is finally here: the first overnight American Idol Nielsens, huge enough to erase the bitter memories of a dozen canceled OJ confession specials or failed sitcoms. The sixth season premiere of America's favorite talent show of the damned drew a (preliminary) average of 37.3 million viewers, and earned an 18-49 rating unseen since The One Where Chandler Takes Out His Pals And Then Turns The Gun On Himself (well, that's the way we like to remember it). Var offers perspective on the staggering opening night numbers:

This makes it the highest-rated entertainment telecast in adults 18-49 on any net since the series finale of NBC's "Friends" in May 2004. Compared to this season's previous top primetime telecasts, Tuesday's "Idol" premiere comes in 43% higher in adults 18-49 than the season premiere of ABC's "Grey's Anatomy" (11.0/26) and 30% bigger in total viewers than the college football BCS title game on Jan. 8 between Florida and Ohio State (28.8 million).

We imagine that Fox's publicity department is acutely aware that this happy ratings news so closely followed a barrage of suspiciously incoherent Paula Abdul TV appearances, and doesn't want to take any chances altering a successful formula. Starting immediately, the judge will be made available via satellite for mandatory segments on network affiliate morning shows each day, during which Abdul will do her best to field questions about the Idol phenomenon while being repeatedly shot in the neck with a tranquilizer gun by an off-camera Fox rep.