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PAUL BOUTIN — Microsoft's next-generation Windows hits the stores in less than two weeks, but for all its whizzy features it's got less buzz than a new dental plan. What's a techie to do? Blame marketing! Start with the scare-quoted "Wow" slogan. After the jump, Vista's campaign report card, plus photos from the Vista tour bus.The new Windows may look like a copy of Mac OS X, but instead of copying Apple's surprise attack strategy, Microsoft tried to soften the ground for Vista in advance with months of marketing campaigns — some generic, some nutty. I took a break from testing the software itself to grade my most and least favorites.

  • Bill Gates meets the bloggers. Take a bow, Steve Rubel! Unless you post a denial in the comments, this stunt has your happy-tappy fingerprints all over it. By giving them an hour of his time, Microsoft's ex-CEO softened the anti-Redmond reflexes of the entire blogosphere. Grade: A
  • Free Vista laptops. The idea merits a passing grade — send sexy laptops pre-loaded with Vista to a similar subset of bloggers seen as influential. That's not a bribe, it's a promo. But bloggers don't have editors and publishers to explain to them how to deal with a "review unit." By not providing recipients with fail-safe rules for handling and disclosing the laptops, Microsoft publicists deserved the backlash they got. Grade: D
  • Gates' CES keynote. If you ask, "Which year?" you've spotted the problem. Bill showed Vista onstage in Vegas in 2006, then again at last week's 2007 show. The demos were slick, but 2006 was too soon. Twelve months ago I was nearly trampled by necktie-clad businessmen elbowing for seats. This year, I stayed home. Three editors hunted me down seeking a quick-turnaround piece — on the iPhone. Grade: C
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  • Vista Coach Tour. A tour bus wrapped in a desktop theme, carrying a band of self-styled "Vista influencers" to Cincinnati, Charlotte and other third-tier cities. I mocked this wannabe-rockstar idea savagely on IM yesterday: "Alright Gainesville! Are you ready to get CRAZY for Windows Vista!" but woke up this morning feeling guilty. These guys are getting on a goddamn bus to meet their customers. It could be a Cluetrain adventure. At worst, it's a lot cheaper than a Vista Gulfstream Tour. Grade: Incomplete
  • The "Wow" Starts Now. A former MS employee shares what she learned there: "Sell your weakness as your strength." If your Web server crashes daily, base the ads around 99.999% uptime. If your new operating system is years late and pretty much looks like a Mac, spin it the exact opposite way — Wow! Now! My wincing disgust at Vista's hypocritical launch slogan is fueled mostly by fear. I'm afraid this stuff works. Grade: F