Like the desperate, ratings-hungry network executive who, upon reading his morning Nielsen fax and discovering that his lowest-brow offering has become his biggest hit, begins his next staff meeting by declaring, "Goddammit, if they want to see people shouting at briefcases, we're gonna give them people shouting at fucking briefcases!" we're willing to look at the numbers and shamelessly run a crowd-pleaser into the ground. And so we present yet another clip of Paula Abdul's slurry, Idol-promoting appearance on a Seattle Fox affiliate's morning show, but one that comes with the value-add of having been edited with unspeakable cruelty to include a mocking voiceover and the total stripping away of the problematic "context" that might make any of the TV judge's bizarre utterances seems something less than entirely Vicodin-fueled. Enjoy, again, for the first time.

UPDATE: Want another one? Go here. There was apparently a whole via-satellite junket full of uncomfortable moments!