There's no denying the inescapability of TV ratings juggernaut American Idol, which premieres Tuesday and now bills itself as the planet's ultimate star search. Besides the high-stakes singing competition, however, it's Idol's other regular cliffhanger—how will a seemingly tanked, incoherent Paula Abdul humiliate herself this week?—that elevates the reality show from mere glorified karaoke into a national intervention watch. For those who just can't wait for the sixth season of Paula Abdul Self-Medication Idol, we provide the above sneak preview from an interview she gave with the Seattle Fox affiliate's local morning show. After some technical difficulties immediately preceding the video above (we get the feeling a light could have fallen from the ceiling and bounced off her skull and she would barely have noticed), Abdul is then free to go about swaying, slurring, and non-sequiter-spewing as she hangs ten riding a perfect wave of OxyContin-and-Patrón-induced bliss.