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We're not exactly sure how we got on his e-mail distribution list, but a Wall Street lawyer who once appeared on the short-lived ABC attractive-people-screwing-on-the-beach reality series One Ocean View has announced his intentions to throw away everything he's worked so hard for to chase his crazy Hollywood dream of toiling soullessly in the bowels of a Wilshire Boulevard office building:

Friends:

I am moving on. After having been named Wall Street Journal's "Lawyer of the Day", a Page Six mention, a [failed] network reality show, appearances in various tabloids, there simply is nothing more left for me to do in New York City. Or, rather, I've overstayed my welcome.

So on January 31, like so many before me, I'm heading West to find fame and fortune in "the movie business". Specifically, I've been accepted into the Agent Trainee Program at International Creative Management, Inc. (ICM) in Beverly Hills. Rest assured that my impeccable lawyering skills will in fact be put to good use...albeit as a Hollywood Agent.

Tomorrow is my last day at the law firm. Going forward, I can be reached on at [e-mail address redacted] or on my mobile

Best Regards,

USMAN SHAIKH, ESQ.

We're just glad that at least one former reality TV cast member who's moving to town has a (marginally) better plan for conquering Hollywood than slinging drinks at The Standard or running the mechanical bull at Saddle Ranch, even if it entails doing time in the ICM mailroom.