On the year's slowest - SLOWEST - news/tips/anything day, the best the outerboroughs have to offer is a demonstration of what happens when Guidos are charged with protecting the collection box in a Catholic Church. We can only imagine what must've happened when the thieves were confronted: shirts came off, obscenities were lobbed and baseball bats were immediately drawn. Of course, when the getaway car circled back around the block, the Guidos quickly retreated into the church and hid behind the Monsignor.

It remains a mystery how the thieves opened the locked, walk-in safe in the church's sacristy, but two young parishioners charged with guarding the room said they believed they were deliberately distracted.

Cruel Yule At Queens Church [NYP]