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Those of us who commute into Manhattan from the wilds of Long Island - and Brooklyn and Queens - are all too cognizant of the fact that there's only one thing that can make a packed-to-the-gills LIRR car tolerable: the willingness of the MTA to let us get hammered on the train for all these years. Down a couple of Bud talls and the fat fuck sitting next to you will be your compadre-for-life by the time you reach Jamaica.

Like an eighteen year-old whore in search of new cock, however, the bastards have turned on us. And now that they have, is it any surprise that the entire thing's a conspiracy?

Riese, whose Penn Station restaurants include TGI Friday's and Houlihan's, would likely see a spike in beer and liquor sales if the railroad stopped selling booze to passengers.

The gaps aren't so wide if you simply look down.

Bar Brawl Raily Nasty [NYP]

Earlier: And They Say That People Today Are Apathetic