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For the past few days, the top story on the NYT's most-emailed list (displaced only this afternoon by a litany of excuses for being messy) has been a boring list of questions to discuss with your intended before you tie the knot. They were so boring, that we despaired of ever getting married if we were forced to ask them of anyone (sample: "Will there be a television in the bedroom?"). But then a reader submitted his own list of questions for us to post, since the Times ones were, frankly, retarded. We felt they were much better suited to our needs, should we ever feel the desire to yoke ourselves to one other person for the rest of our living days. Our questions after the jump.

1) If we get pregnant, is it because one of us didn't wear a rubber or because you forgot to take the pill?

2) How much does your trust fund pay out quarterly?

3) Did you get the Heineken and Pop Tarts like I said, bitch?

4) Do you have herpes or paranoid schizophrenia or something?

5) Why don't you go down on me?

6) Are you absolutely sure you're not gay?

7) Where should I put my porn in the bedroom?

8) Do you ever shut up?

9) When I'm bored of sex (with you), you're not going to make me go to therapy or AA or anything, are you?

10) Are your friends hot?

11) How much cash would your parents give us if we had kids?

12) Is your mom crazy or a drunk?

13) Are you just a cokewhore?

14) If I go to Thailand for a month, will you just not ask me any questions?

15) Is that prenup still valid?

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marriage [NYT]