Andrea Peyser Takes a Long, Hard Look At Tara Conner's "Cooch"
As we mentioned yesterday, the whole 'Trump threatens to fire, then pardons Miss USA' story is basically the definition of week-before-Xmas filler, but we don't mind stooping to cover it. And neither, thank god, does Andrea Peyser. The Post's resident moral authority is always at her best when a young, attractive, "fire-breathing slut" needs to be run out of town, and boozy Tara inspired what we think is some of her finest work ever:
Miss USA vowed that - from this day forward - she'll keep her nose clean.
And her urine sweet.
And - to employ my current favorite euphemism - her cooch untouched by human hands.
"I have an open heart!" Tara burbled, as she stood before hundreds of the nation's finest media minds, and even more camera-toting tourists, in the glittering Trump Tower atrium.
Unfortunately, her heart is not the organ in need of closing.
But who am I to judge? Oh, right.
Exactly: who is Andrea Peyser except the supreme judge? We can only hope that when they time comes for her to scrutinize our open bukiluki, we won't be found lacking.
