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NICK DOUGLAS — There are two types of top ten lists: the ones on Letterman, and, well, funny ones. The latter is neither. Instead, it's ten real rules for making attention-getting top ten lists.

10. Count down. It's not a dramatic technique, it's just proper form, like punctuation and grammar.
9. Start strong, end strong. This is where Letterman fails: number one is always a weak item, chosen for its length. You're probably writing your list for Internet reading, so you want people to remember the good bits (and show their friends). They'll remember the first and last items.
8. Build a pattern by using the same sort of joke, or referring to the same extraneous thing, at least three times.
7. Don't get cutesy and self-referential. It wastes 10% of your space.
6. Theme #1: Make your list actionable. "Ten ways to __." Then if you run out by #3, you still have a solid how-to. (By the way, now is about time for instance #2 of that joke.)
5. Theme #2: Focus on something that pisses you off. "10 Things I Hate About You" is the Ur-list. Or try a sarcastic take on what pisses other people off, like "10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society."
4. Theme #3: Tie disparate cultural elements together. For example, various robots. Everyone will recognize one, no one will recognize all, and discussion will ensue.
3. To that end, leave room for a clever reader to add items. Have a comment form, so when someone outdoes you, they're doing it on your site.
2. Include pictures if you can.
1. As with any attention-getting piece, link it up. If you do it right, you're showing you "did research" and didn't just "steal from your friends."

This is an installment of Diggbait, a daily column by Nick Douglas, who also writes for Eat the Press.