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For the three of you whose Hollywood offices haven't yet shut down for the holidays: Welcome! We'll be here with you all week. For now, take some of the sting out of your forced and largely senseless attendance with the box office numbers:

1. The Pursuit of Happyness—$27 million
Back in February, following the huge opening of Hitch, we marvelled at Will Smith's versatility for finally taking a brainless romantic comedy to Number One. Now he's conquered the tear-jerking based-on-an-alternately-sad-and-uplifting-true-story genre, bravely fighting through the boyish-charms-dampening impediments of some gray hair and a period-appropriate mustache to prove he's still the Most Beloved Movie Star in the Known Universe. But is he ready to take the next step and test the limits of his box office brand by playing "unlikable"? [Ed.note—Audible gasp!] Producers, maybe it's time to start sending him those serial killer and child molester scripts and see if he's ready for a true challenge.

2. Eragon—$23.450 million
We're suffering from what movie marketing types refer to as "low awareness" of Eragon, probably because we haven't been in film's target audience of "fifth-grade boys who doodle dragons on their binders while quietly making fire-breathing sound effects" for about two decades now.

3. Charlotte's Web—$12.026 million
Dakota Fanning wisely surrounded herself with lesser talent for this project, knowing that in the event of a disappointing™ opening weekend, Julia Roberts and Oprah Winfrey would make easy scapegoats for any perceived failure.

4. Happy Feet—$8.520 million
Penguins? Whatever. Everyone knows it's all about meerkats right now.

6. Apocalypto—$7.723 million
We're not exactly sure how to interpret this result—is Mel Gibson no longer "back" because his movie fell from first to sixth in one weekend? Please let us know.