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You know, when we took this job, we didn't really know what to expect. There was a lot of uncertainty. But there was just one thing that we were absolutely sure of: that we would one day be writing an item about promising indie actress turned crackhead flameout ne plus ultra Natasha Lyonne.

Today's the day!

The Slums of Beverly Hills star, who had been been issued a bench warrant last January for not showing up for four hearings about a complaint from a neighbor who'd accused her of threatening to sexually molest a dog, finally turned herself in to a New York court today. We're glad that Natasha is safe in custody, and we're glad to finally have more information about the dog thing, which, frankly, we'd never felt that we had the whole scoop on. Here, at last, is a description of the incident:

Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

How admirably straightforward!

American Pie Actress Turns Herself In at NY Court [Reuters]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Natasha Lyonne