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Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster was the blogger. On Christmas Eve, as the blogger sharpened stakes of holly to drive through the hearts of media "celebrities," Intern Stephanie timorously asked to take the next day off.

"Bah, New York Times!" the blogger scoffed. "When newspapers stop publishing holiday gift guides and Alessandra Stanley's mind-fuckery, maybe we'll talk."

The blogger had three more posts to do and no inclination to show mercy. Stanley was offering an article about TV holiday movies that made no sense. "Just one more Stanley bellow flop," the blogger cackled mirthlessly. "Might as well call it 'Another Year Without a Christmas Bonus."

[Ed. note: We had no clue WTF Alessandra Stanley was talking about in her column today, either. Sorry.]
Call It a Critic's Carol: Even She Has A Heart [NYT]