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We know that you want us to tell you that fugitive from tax-code-justice Wesley Snipes' arrest for the fraud charges filed against him back in October involved some kind of dramatic stand-off at the Orlando airport, with Snipes finally being dragged off the private jet that returned him to the States from Namibia after ten frantic hours of repelling wave after wave of IRS goons while armed only with eating utensils found in the plane's galley. Unfortunately, Snipes quietly turned himself in, made a brief court appearance in Ocala, Florida (sorry, he didn't wrestle a weapon from a momentarily distracted bailiff, admonish his captors for "not betting on black," then escaping in a stolen police car) and plans to immediately return to the African set of the low-budget zombie flick he's shooting while waiting for Hollywood to come to its senses and restore him to his mid-1990s stardom. Reality, as it so often is, is far less action-packed than the high-paying, shitty movies that got Snipes into this trouble in the first place.