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NICK DOUGLAS — It's 8 PM and I'm bored, hungry and sober. What went wrong? I'm at one of the thousands of poorly-planned events that plague the business world. While this is a Silicon Valley blog, the following rules apply to all industries. Here are the seven ways that businesses and organizations ruin events:

  1. Starting at 6. This is an awful time for two reasons: It makes everyone rush from work (wait, who even leaves work before 6?) and it cuts right into dinnertime. People will come late. (Disclosure: I will be late either way.) If you must, at least don't leave guests with:
  2. No food. If an event begins from 5 to 7:30 and goes longer than an hour, people will be skipping or delaying dinner. That will distract them. Plan catering ahead and advertise that you have done so. It's not crass, it's providing for your guests.
  3. No booze. You probably need liquor, and it probably needs to be free. This only applies in a stand-up, social event — though wine is tasteful after a lecture. In fact, when is wine not tasteful?
  4. Scant attendance. No one likes to be part of a sparse crowd in a big room. (Maybe you shouldn't have scheduled for 6.) Get your fliers out there, invite a block of people. Just don't seed an event with local grad-schoolers getting class credit or an office memo titled "mandatory." That's like telling someone to be your friend, and it will only make you enemies.
  5. Boring speakers. It's okay to have some; not everyone's an entertainer. That's why you invite an MC or panelist who is. But for a panel, ensure that at least two of your informed speakers are also entertaining. Ask someone who's heard them speak or search them on YouTube.
  6. Running too long. Notice there is no Cutting too short. I have never been at an event that cut too short.
  7. No afterparty. Granted, I've been at events that cleared out too quickly. Let people mill about. If the venue has another event booked, arrange a second location and inform everyone in the pre-event publicity or an onstage announcement. If the event's really good, an exclusive afterparty is acceptable. At this point, refer to another Valleywag guide: Do tech people do drugs?

This is the third installment of Diggbait, a daily column about life in the tech world. Earlier, Diggbait covered the eight people you meet on Digg.com and how clicking the button below buys toys for hospitalized children. Photo by Thomas Hawk.