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Nutty Post scourge Andrea Peyser's column today about Russell Simmons' icky endorsement of the diamond mining industry, which he calls "99 3/4%" clean, seems unusually . . . inspired. Seriously, you have to respect a writer who can continually froth with outrage and also come up with turns of phrase like this one:

They came separately for a bling-is-good press conference yesterday - he in baggy jeans, she in a clingy dress and heels so high, I could hear her arches disintegrating.

Sarcasm aside, that is just kind of awesome. Why come Andrea's writin' so good today? A clue may be found in her lede:

Sometimes, you want to throw up your hands, spit out your lungs and take a stiff drink at the shamelessness of it all.

Andrea, we heartily advocate taking this approach to every column you write from now on. But maybe next time drink first and then spit out your lungs; we hear it fucks up your liver the other way.

Simmons Def and Dumb on Bling Abuses [NYP]