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So let's see if we've got this one straight. A now-73-year-old rabbi named Joel Goor and a 48-year-old woman named Janet Pizzo (that's the shiksa, at right) start an affair. It goes on for years, but all is not well in paradise. Seems the woman is a little too ... trashy for the refined, cultured rabbi, and he wants to make sure she doesn't embarrass him in front of his friends. So he makes her sign a document saying, among other things, that she'll attempt to speak English properly with his "delicate guidance" and that she agrees to get liposuction from the neck down. In return, she was supposed to get half of a home in Throgs Neck and $125,000 if they split up. Needless to say, the rabbi wasn't interested in holding up his end of the bargain.

Basically, he sounds like a real peach:

Goor insisted Pizzo watch art documentaries so she could converse on the same level as his wise friends, Pizzo says.

"In front of my family, he would correct my grammar and he also would say, 'You're getting fat,' " she said. "I just felt like a piece of s- - -."

You're probably wondering, what was in it for her, besides some good old-fashioned psychological abuse? You probably could've used your imagination, but fortunately the Post spells it out for us:

"I finally met a man that enjoyed sex as much as me. He just let me feel on top of the world."

She said they routinely had sex five times per week. "Once, we set a record - 23 times in eight days," Pizzo said.

And with that, our daily installment of TMI has concluded. Tune in next time, etc. etc.

Sin-agogue [NYP]