Monday Morning Box Office: Hot Penguin-On-Turkey Action
Don't worry, it's completely normal for the energy-sapping effects of tryptophan to linger all the way to Monday morning. Revive yourself with a hit of the weekend box office numbers:
1. Happy Feet—$37.945 million
Never underestimate the power of a family movie to draw impressive crowds on a holiday weekend; this Thanksgiving vacation, parents found that even a day spent stuffing their little fatties with Burger King Happy Feet meals and trekking across the mall to watch computer-animated penguins tap dance was less painful than one spent at home, begging the kids to eat leftover turkey.
2. Casino Royale—$31 million
By grossing $66.2 million at the foreign box office in a single weekend, the new, "rebooted" Bond film proves that the hybrid spy/genital-torture genre is one that holds enormous appeal for international audiences. Each subsequent installment of the franchise will now include a prolonged scene in which 007's manhood is repeatedly battered by his nemesis to maximize grosses among overseas CBT fans hungry for mainstream fare incorporating their fetish.
3. Deja Vu—$20.836 million
We have to disagree with Box Office Mojo on this one: "Potentially muting Deja Vu was a marketing campaign that emphasized pyrotechnics and the titular illusion but obfuscated the movie's time travel plot." As we all know by now, the blowing up of shit is what sells a Jerry Bruckheimer film, not an extraneous feature like "plot."
4. Deck the Halls—$12 million
There's an old saying in Hollywood: You will never go poor making shitty Christmas movies—unless you cast Ben Affleck in them and release them before Halloween.
11. Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny—$3.11 million
We can't say we're surprised that a Tenacious D feature didn't do big business, but come on—any movie that seamlessly integrates cock push-ups into its story deserves better than this.