This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

All advertising bends the truth. The Fake Testimonial bends the truth over its knee and savagely fists it. It is the lowest form of advertising. That's real low.

Marketing directors love testimonial ads: 'See what we did for Joe/Jo Schmo? Well, we can do the same for you!' Us ad copywriters and art directors, however, hate testimonials. Real people are fucking ugly. Plus, we would much rather sit around all day thinking up talking lizards, or go shoot us some bikini models on a warm beach somewhere.

But what do you do if the advertiser has zero interest in being goofy, and none of their current clients will agree to be paid off to be shilly pawns? Simple! You just completely make it the fuck up!

This year's Microsoft "people_ready" campaign (Myself, I just bought some aardvark_ready software, and boy am I confused...) is a nice shiny turd of fakery—fake photo shoots of fake businesses full of fake people faking readiness for Microsoft software. Software for the people-ready business. Yep. They've trademarked that exclusive patch of marketing hooey.

This blatantly untruthful campaign is via creaky, bloated ad agency McCann worldwide, whose 90-year-old tagline is "truth well told." Another one of their truthy trademarked taglines? "For everything else, there's Mastercard. " Well told, veracity-raptors.

Below, I break through the sacred fourth wall of advertising, giving you insider insight into what these fake models/actors might have really been ready to do. Look closely at every face in the ad. Notice how each person is completely pleasant and non-threatening looking. Also, play "where's black Waldo..."

This image was lost some time after publication.

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a Big Fat Lie. Advertising copywriter copyranter brings you instances of Ad Lies and the Lying Liars who sell them.