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For those of you worried that the avalanche of publicity stemming from background dancing impresario Kevin Federline's public dumping by longtime bling-enabler Britney Spears might cause a spike in demand for his L.A. live shows (hey, some of you might have incapacitating Glade-huffing habits that would allow you to think such a thing), this report from a concertgoing operative should put your drug-addled mind at ease, revealing that House of Blues staffers couldn't even give away tickets to K-Fed's upcoming, Wednesday night show, even when resorting to chicanery:

[Friday night] at the Frank Black show at House of Blues on Sunset, the staff at the queue outside was trying to give away tickets for Kevin Federline's Nov. 22nd concert there. Several of them had large stacks of tix and were pleading (with little success) for incoming concert-goers to take a few tickets.

One of the women at the door kept telling people they were the 200th (or 300th) person at the show and had won free K-Fed tix. Despite the clever gambit, everyone we saw laughed at the very thought and turned her down. We watched them go 0-for-10 or 15. (To be fair, the Frank Black, Kevin Federline fan overlap is somewhat limited, but there was nothing but resounding denial at the prospect of a free show.)

Later, inside, before the show started, HOB put a K-Fed promotional ad up on the screen onstage. It was summarily (and viciously) booed each time it appeared.

We beg of you: Please contact the House of Blues immediately and snap up every available ticket. This is going to be Federline's first Thanksgiving alone (that bitch got the kids, yo, and her yam game is ridiculous), and we can't bear the thought of an emotionally devastated Federline having to kick off his holiday weekend by taking the stage at an empty venue, trying to muster a half-heartened burst of delusional self-esteem to rap in the general direction of some disinterested bartenders.