'Sun' Essayist's Streak Of Well-Reasoned Polemics Continues
We say this about pretty much every Alicia Colon column, but today's dispatch from the trenches of Lunatic City must really be read in its entirety so that you can appreciate the sheer insanity displayed therein. Alicia tackles the charged topic of gun control (SPOILER: she's agin' it) with her standard rhetorical method of support for her argument: interspersing one or two well-known historical events with anecdotal examples from her personal life.
Four decades ago, a gunman accosted my mother, who was on her way home after attending the 6 a.m. Mass at St. Lucy's in Spanish Harlem. When he demanded all her money, she looked him in the eye and said, "What would your mother think of you doing this?" The gunman turned around and fled, saying nothing. These days, she likely would have been shot dead.
My mother-in-law bought her shotgun at Kmart. She and her family lived near the Everglades, where snakes and alligators are unfriendly neighbors. My uncle-in-law owned a gas station in a rough neighborhood, and had been beaten severely by robbers. He started carrying a .45 wherever he went, and was never beaten or robbed again.
My daughter-in-law has been stalked by an ex-boyfriend. He kidnapped and assaulted her and violated more than 20 orders of protection. He served a minimum sentence of a few years, and as soon as he was released came back to issue more death threats. How likely would this be if he knew she had a loaded weapon and knew how to use it?
So many questions. Like, why does the world have it in for Alicia Colon's family? How thrilled must her daughter-in-law be to have made the papers? And is Alicia packing? Because if so, we'd advise her Arab neighbors on Staten Island to start apologizing for all the terrorism they support posthaste. Bitch will totally bust a cap in your ass.
