'Designer' Ash Rana's mother was adopted by the prince of Nepal, so he grew up in the palace. Does he miss the royal lifesteez? "It did come with its own perks, but when I moved to the U.S., it was almost like a handicap because I didn't know how to do anything for myself, like laundry and things like that." Aww, he's handicapped! After the jump, Alec Cumming, Robespierre and John McGill go easy on him because of his condition. Not.

Robespierre, Gawker Stalker Intern

Tea party at the Carlyle! What else does this guy do for fun?
 Ash spends hours adjusting the combover on his 100 percent real human
hair toupee. When that gets boring, he throws shoes at his servants
and takes single bites out of bananas and then tosses the rest away.
He takes pedi-cabs around the city and whips the driver with his iPod headphones.

Ash has a lot in common with David Banda, Madonna's newly adopted
child. They're both "not of royal blood" but still exist in princely luxury. What words of wisdom do you think Ash would have for David?
 Like Ash, who endured an oppressive childhood eating gold for
breakfast and polishing magic lamps, David will also surely suffer the
indignities of having cash-themed birthday parties and riding around
in a Powerwheels Maybach. But in spite of Ash's privileged upbringing,
all the glory that he has achieved as a wildly successful clothing
designer is soley due to his God-given gifts. As a result, Ash would
tell David to rely on his innate talent as Madonna's son and start a
fashion line focusing mainly on Kanye West sunglasses and Rhythm
Nation jackets.

Describe Ash's eyes.
 Judging by his scarf, he has the eye of the tiger.

Alec Cumming, Researcher


Tea party at the Carlyle! What else does this guy do for fun?
 When he's not hanging out with artsy-fartsy Latin rock stars like
Shakira, Ash likes to brunch at the Tavern with "the ladies" and then
hit up Neiman Marcus for leather driving gloves and patterned luggage.

Ash has a lot in common with David Banda, Madonna's newly adopted
child. They're both "not of royal blood" but still exist in princely
luxury.
What words of wisdom do you think Ash would have for David?
 "Never look back." Unless you're using the Super Sleuth Rear-View
Mirrors in your giant sunglasses!

Describe Ash's eyes.
 In the words of the immortal Boy George:
"Eyes across the room, unspoken / Eyes, glitter promise / Cheapness
and beauty / Trickery and lies"

John McGill, Canasta Champion

Tea party at the Carlyle! What else does this guy do for fun?
 Lunch at Alain Ducasse, dinner at Masa, hot stone massages at the
Mandarin Oriental spa, Elks Own Cocktails at the GPH Rose Bar and
vomit glam shots in the Don Hill's bathroom.

Ash has a lot in common with David Banda, Madonna's newly adopted
child. They're both "not of royal blood" but still exist in princely
luxury. What words of wisdom do you think Ash would have for David?
 At age 18, after dropping out of Sarah Lawrence, David will make the
long trek to Ash's secret Himalayan temple of fabulosity, where he
will be trained in the art of voguing. Only years later, when Ash Rana
returns to destroy New York by draping a 30 square mile patch of
safari print fabric over the city, will the mature David realize he'd
been had and his mentor was the enemy all along.

Describe Ash's eyes.
 Ash's eyes are so intense that they once killed a TSA employee who
demanded that he remove his glasses. As a young man in Tibet, he
briefly pursued a career in "eye reading," but found his subjects
would collapse in self-pity when met by his icy gaze.