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We know your time is precious, so we've pared every bloated feature in today's Thursgay Styles down to one digestible sentence and one representative quote, via a procedure we like to call textual lipo. Trust us, it's all the rage in Europe.

  • Article: Cosmopolitan Moms Sentence: Some moms like to drink white wine at their kids' playdates. Quote: "This is not really exotic behavior."
  • Article: The Golden Torso Sentence: Model Jamie Dornan is hot and Guy Trebay would like to do it with him. Quote: "There are certain faces the camera loves. Mr. Dornan's is one."
  • Article: Wrinkle Rivals Go To War. Sentence: Rich people have more choices now about what toxin they'll paralyze their facial muscles with. Quote: "You are basically injecting more Jell-O soup into your skin."
  • Article: Books And Boots: A Texas Odyssey Sentence: Alex Kuczynski free-associates about a trip to Texas to promote her book. Quote: "I think I had a witchy baby sitter long ago who wore [mule boots]. She scared me somehow, and I can't remember exactly how she scared me, which scares me even more."
    There you go. Spend those twenty minutes you just saved doing something socially valuable, ok?