Tom Ford, Andre Leon Talley, Blackest Orchids. Make Your Own Joke.
The Transom risked smelling like Tom Ford's darkest fantasies to attend the launch party for his new perfume, Tom Ford Black Orchid. Ford himself claims to have cultivated the "blackest orchid in history." Why a black orchid? "It's so elusive and mysterious and sensual," Ford said, later adding that the new fragrance "absolutely captures the essence of the black orchid." Susan Orlean, who was not in attendance, set the record straight, though: "As far as I know, there is no such thing as a black orchid, and from what I was told, it's botanically impossible." She added that orchids, as anyone who's read her book knows, have no scent. Still, she sent her best wishes: "Go for it, Tom. Keep at it, buddy!"
But that's not even our favorite quote from the item. No, that'd have to be the closer:
Vogue fashion giant Andr Leon Talley was getting in the elevator. He was draped in a snakeskin overcoat. A quick squirt for the road was offered to him. 'Oh darling, please stop it!' he said.