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Celeb-bio machine Jerry Oppenheimer has outdone himself this time, giving the tell-all treatment to the entire Hilton dynasty — Paris, Nicky, Rick and Kathy, yes, but also apparently there was also this Conrad guy who owned a lot of hotels and some other guy, Nicky, who did it with Zsa Zsa Gabor or something. We skipped over those parts. Anyway, because there are entire square millimeters of Paris that haven't been fully exploited yet, we thought it was time for another edition of Gawker's treasured book club, a feature in which we flip around until we find a titillating passage and then share it with you. After the jump, learn what 'sex education' means to the Hiltons. Hint: not abstinence education, that's for sure.

"'Big Kathy [Kathy's grandmother] told Ken [her husband] that she wanted Kathy to know all about sex . . . so she asked a young man to teach her in his van,' asserts Sylvia Richards. 'Ken had a fit when he found out about it and confronted Kathleen [Kathy's mother]. She told him to mind his own business, to keep his nose out of it, that Kathy was her daughter.' (Years later, Paris received sex instruction from her mother, who warned her that performing fellatio would put 'holes' in her face. 'I totally believed her. She's like, 'It's from sucking.' I'm like, 'Ewww!'")

Yup, you're welcome.