Just when you thought 'reformed' beauty junkie Alex Kuczynski was through dishing out highly suspect nuggets of wisdom, she gives a little bit more. Enjoy these choice quotes from her interview with DC rag Express, and count yourself lucky that you've never been a guest in her home.

"I have a houseguest with really droopy eyelids and I wanted to say something to him, but then I slapped myself."

"I splurged on a dress for my book party and I was just glad I didn't need to buy the biggest size."

"I'm amazed by women who will spend $770 on Christian Louboutin shoes. That would make me sick — my Gucci dress was less than that because I got it on a steep sale. I go to the Bloomingdale's juniors department and get $80 shoes."

"When I was younger, I would go to Long Island with friends and we would stay at someone's house and we would go out to the T.J. Maxx in Bridgehampton with only 40 bucks and we had to put together a whole outfit. It was like, "I dare you to look great." And we always did, because you don't look bad when you're 23."

$80 shoes . . . T.J. Maxx . . . wow, Alex is just like us. Except we're not a giant twatwaffle.

Q&A: Alex Kuczynski [Express]