Defamer Studio Architecture Dept.: Designing Tom Cruise's UA Watertower
We realize that Tom Cruise's newly resurrected United Artists is merely a brand within the MGM family, but we still think that his parent studio needs to recognize their historic partnership with the star in dramatic fashion. What better way to celebrate Cruise's incipient moguldom than by erecting a UA water tower atop MGM's headquarters, the kind of iconic structure that already beautifies the property of several competitors' lots? We feel so strongly about the idea that we've devoted a good five or six minutes of our in-house design department's valuable time to conceptualizing such a monument, which would loom intimidatingly over Century City and be visible for miles in every direction, letting the entire town know where Cruise's new moviemaking power is centralized. Failing this, MGM could always opt for something on a smaller scale, like commissioning a tasteful bronze sculpture for their lobby depicting the actor kicking Sumner Redstone in the ass.