Short Ends: Mel Gibson, Sobriety Coach To The Trainwreck-Prone Stars
· Today on Good Morning America, Courtney Love revealed that Mel Gibson helped her get sober. Too bad; had Gibson decided to instead join together their substance-abusing tendencies, they could have formed a drug-addicted duo so formidable that not even an entire army of sugartitted and Jewish law enforcement officials could've stopped them from taking over the entire Pacific coast.
· If this photo of Jon Lovitz being approached by two topless blondes on the beach doesn't excite you, then we really have no idea what turns you on anymore.
· Annette Bening knows that chatter about an Oscar nomination for Running with Scissors can only end in heartbreak.
· Kevin Federline's music has earned at least one positive review; then again, it's from the people who recently body-slammed him on national TV, so we're going to imagine that when the WWE critic claims that K-Fed's "song writing skills are better than Beethoven's and Mozart's combined," he's not exactly without bias.
· Tyra Banks has traded in her fat-suit for a man-suit, and she's about to make you reconsider everything you thought you knew about how people actually treat big-breasted supermodels who pretend to be dudes for a day.