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Yesterday afternoon, we urged you to check out hip-hop/househusbanding impresario Kevin Federline's live performance at the West Hollywood Halloween Costume Carnaval, partly because the crushing crowd and anonymity afforded by your costume would make any legal reprisals for hurling empty Red Bull cans on stage exceedingly difficult, and partly because we suspect his musical career will burn so brightly and so quickly that you won't have too many other opportunities to see him ply his trade in public. The Defamer Special Correspondent on Background Dancers Struggling With the Difficult Transition to the Foreground reports that K-Fed's WeHo appearance unfolded exactly as we'd all suspected it would:

Dear God,

Thank you for putting Kevin Federline - the real Kevin Federline - on stage last night in West Hollywood. Thank you for putting him on the same bill as Tiffany and a disco tribute band. Thank you for making him wear a lame vampire cape and a sideways trucker hat. And thank you, especially, for making the crowd boo him the entire duration of the one number he performed before storming off stage angry, scared and chastened by a near rioting mob of Dorothys, pregnant nuns, Borats and gay devils. That was just the best Halloween gift ever, God.

Sincerely your #1 fan,
Me

Despite the not totally unanticipated brevity of his set, Federline's handlers can take a positive from the aborted show: their star's hasty retreat from the scorn of the unappreciative audience was the act of a much more seasoned performer; a less savvy, but equally talentless, entertainer might have overstayed his unwelcome in the interest of saving face, risking a humiliating storming of the stage by a phalanx of neon-nutslinged Borat clones, whose jiggling bits would have inevitably distracted from the rhymes the rest of the crowd was so eager to drown out with their lusty boos.

[Photo: Getty Images]