Last night saw the show-party for Surface magazine's ninth annual Avant Guardian awards thing, where various fashionably clad seraphs alighted briefly to celebrate the best in commercial photography. The occasion took place in the vast white vault of Splashlight Studios, all the better to highlight the Big Art Pictures and mobs of Tiny Skinny Men and Their Women. Two thousand guests were predicted, though that might have generously included everyone who just stopped by for a drink, the catering staff, and occasional passerby. Nevertheless, videographer Richard Blakeley plunged in to bring you a ghastly clip, which is notable chiefly for some Project Runway person flipping off the camera. Beyond that, house photographist Nikola Tamindzic brings his own finesse to a gallery of the absurdities in attendance; you can examine his further full gallery here. Enjoy the video after the jump, plus Intern Stephanie digs deep and tries to capture the scene, that it may never again be loosed on an unsuspecting public.

Sexually ambiguous men clad in skinny jeans spill out of taxi after taxi. We all congregate in the massive line that has formed outside of Splashlight Studios. Chaos. A tube of Carmex rolls out of a taxi and onto the sidewalk.

Hipster 1: Is this yours?
Hipster 2: I don't use Carmex.
Random European woman: I didn't think there would be a queue!

I pretended to text people until I was safely inside the confines of the mental asylum-white walls. Thankfully, there was no padding. However, there was a strategically placed Lexus, the president of Dolce & Gabanna, and my worst nightmare: chopsticks. My obscure state school didn't offer courses in couture, leaving me with the unique talent to drop chopsticks in 45 seconds or less. After picking at the noodle concoction (they don't pay me to know the names of these things), my chopsticks graciously fell to the beer-stained floor.

Random dude: Are you going to get those?
Me: Uh, No.

I grabbed another pair of chopsticks, a testament to perseverance, and managed to find some Surface elite, such as fashion director Karen Eldad, who confirmed the massive attendance number at 2,000. Naturally this number includes the few people who came, drank a few beers, and promptly left. Meanwhile Riley Johndonnell, Surface founder turned brand director, loves "how people show up and dress in innovative outfits which matches the innovative photography in the magazine." Well, innovative is a more appropriate term than interesting. Overall, the scene had all the inspired appeal of a car commercial, and the relentless scarf-and-hat ensembles on the men spoke volumes more. Where's the queue for taxis home?