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Upon closer inspection, we came to realize the red banner alerting us to "BREAKING NEWS" was in fact referencing a wildfire in Palm Springs, not any recent emergency efforts to undo the damage wrought by an unnatural disaster of dissimilar proportions, Tara Reid's self-described (and described...and described...) "plastic surgery nightmare." And while we couldn't be happier for the—actress? Is it?—that recent surgical improvements to her mangled torso have given her the confidence she needed to spring back into life, we'd also caution her that by having played her last card of possible media interest so loudly and so often, she may have painted herself into the kind of unfortunate career corner that could very well find her taking regular road trips to Tijuana to re-botch her no-longer-funbags, all in a misguided effort to land back on The View.