We don't watch Ellen enough (read: ever) to know whether or not the show is wrapping up an Ellen Under Extreme Duress theme week, but they've apparently tried to top Monday's stunt, in which a cruel hypnotist made her cry by mentally force-feeding her a wad of hairy chili-licorice, with a segment today where the show's sadistic producers try to generate great daytime TV by having their host sexually assaulted by a 20-foot anaconda. And they almost pulled it off—DeGeneres seemed genuinely distressed by the serpentine tail curling around her nether-regions, at least at first; unfortunately, once the animal handler let her off the hook by revealing that crotch-invading reptilie was a female, the look on Ellen's face let us know that the sexual jeopardy of the situation had been all but extinguished.