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We suppose we should have seen this coming: Andy Cohen, Bravo programming exec and sassy blogger extraordinaire, interviews himself in today's post, thereby bringing to a natural conclusion the molting cycle that began with an anonymous network suit larva, and now ends with a glorious celebrity butterfly, furry antennae atwitter in a constant search for fellow, fabulous Lepidoptera with which to flap his colorful and expensive wings. But what should have been a cakewalk Q & A regarding Cohen's current visit to L.A. quickly turned ugly, with the Two Faces of Andy having a Gollum-vs.-his-reflection-style moment of antagonistic inner-turmoil:

Q: Andy, what the hell are you doing right at this minute in Los Angeles? A: Well, thanks for asking you cheeky cherub! I am in LA on the set of a brand new Bravo reality competition show that will debut in '07. [...]

Q: What hotspots did you visit while you were in LA?
 A: Hmmm. Hotspots? I don't know. Like, did I meet Jessica Simpson at Cain and do blowcaine with La Lohan in the bathroom of the Ivy? No. [...]

Q. Andy, you are an insufferable name dropper. And you can't spell.
 A: You know what, Andy? I don't force you to read my blog so I don't need to hear your smacktalk. [...]

Q: [H]ow do you like your new supershort haircut? A: Hey! How did you know that I got a supershort haircut!?

Q: I AM YOU, idiot! [...] Would you consider being my longterm lover?
 A: Yes. I love you.

While it looked like Andy was just moments away from delivering a really gay, all-bitchslaps-and-scratches recreation of Edward Norton's self-pummeling scene in Fight Club, it was a relief to see that cooler swollen heads ultimately prevailed.