This image was lost some time after publication.

When first seeing the words "TARA REID EXCLUSIVE: MY PLASTIC SURGERY NIGHTMARE" stretched across Us Weekly's cover, one's overactive imagination might instantly jump to a disturbing vision of a particularly hard night of partying in Vegas, the day after which Reid groggily awakened in a bathtub full of ice water to discover that she had been forcibly supplied with a pair of shockingly over-enhanced breasts and a poorly contoured stomach, then screamed in horror as she noticed the words CALL A BOARD-LICENSED COSMETIC SURGEON NOW scrawled in lipstick on the wall next to her. Fortunately, the "nightmare" she describes to Us is far less chilling, but apparently still sensational enough to land an actress whose latest project is of straight-to-download quality the cover story over the shocking—shocking!—tale of Katie Holmes' wedding dress selection.