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For those who have been patiently anticipating an update to our ongoing, cultural critique series, "Overheard Celebrities," your wait is over: Blogger Johnny Hong Kong happened to be occupying the same sonic sphere as Keanu Reeves at a weekend screening of The Departed, during which the venerated screen thespian was overheard saying he would have taken Jack Nicholson's role of sociopathic mob boss Frank Costello in a different direction. He sent us this capsule report:

We sat in front of Keanu Reeves for a screening of The Departed, on 10/6 at the Mann Village in Westwood. He was with a very talkative lady (not the same one he was with when he was spotted at Il Sole a few weeks back) who could not shut the hell up through the movie. Considering the field in which Mr. Reeves makes his living, it was strange to us that he could abide by the behavior. He stayed pretty silent throughout the film except for one key moment in the film when he made a snarky comment about Jack Nicholson's acting choices. That's right, Keanu Reeves is our generation's Lee Strassberg. Whoa.

While they considerately avoided identifying the key moment so as not to spoil any surprises, we're almost certain the scene in question was the infamous strap-on dildo scene, which, while it did make the final cut, was hardly the kind of buzzworthy latex-sex-toy performance that is remembered come awards season. Reeves must have noticed the over-the-top, scenery-chewing manner with which Jack dangled the molded appendage in co-star Damon's face, thus causing him to involuntarily blurt out, "Nicholson forgets that acting is reacting. I could have won that big, black cock an Oscar!"