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From the overflowing Nobody Knows Anything file: NBC is finding that all of their promotion of Studio 60 hasn't yet bought a hit, while lesser-hyped Heroes is getting the results that Aaron Sorkin is being paid untold millions to deliver. [Variety]
Rachael Ray scores the best opening week syndicated ratings since Dr. Phil, ushering in a new, perkier era of midday talk show evil. [THR]
In Russia, Kazakh period epic Nomad may face off against Borat for control of the "screen image" of the recently prank-besieged Central Asian nation. If Fox actually releases the Borat movie over there, the nomads aren't going to stand a chance against Sacha Baron Cohen's merciless, culture-ravaging onslaught. [Variety]
Dancing with the Stars crushes first-hour timeslot rival Friday Night Lights, which NBC will probably soon move from Tuesday night to Fridays to alleviate viewer confusion over its currently misleading title. [THR]
Kanye West is returning to William Morris after a brief, unsatisfying fling with CAA. Say it with us now: "CAA doesn't care about black people." [Variety]