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One would be hard pressed to find an (as yet) nonviolent, psychopathic celebrity stalker more committed to her craft than Dessarae Bradford. Having found herself on the receiving end of a restraining order against current obsession-object Colin Farrell after accosting the actor during a Tonight Show appearance, Bradford has taken it upon herself to gum up our local legal channels in an attempt at having it overturned:

The judge denied Bradford's request to have Farrell's restraining order against her lifted. [...]

"Your honor, he's trying to give the impression that I'm some stalker, some delusional fan, which is absolutely not true," argued 31-year-old Dessarae Bradford. [...]

Bradford claims Farrell reached out to her in September 2004 after hearing about her self-published book, titled "I F—-ed Alec Baldwin in the A—." She says he found her number through a "business ad."

"He basically just wanted to be book No. 2. He was chasing an adrenaline rush, possibly," Bradford said.

Bradford is to be commended for keeping to her "Colin 's stalking me!" message. And while the judge in this case was unswayed, we do think her story paints a compelling portrait of a star so privileged, the only way he could even still feel alive was by scanning escort ads until he found a phone sex operator who could satisfy his compulsive desire to be anally violated, then recount the entire affair in a Xeroxed memoir sold out of a milk crate on Santa Monica Blvd.