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• Fashion Week simply cannot go by without at least one perceived drama; dowdy City Hall folks are urging Hizzoner to terminate 7th on Sixth's lease on Bryant Park because the circus is too disruptive. Obviously, these opponents are very jealous and incredibly ugly. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Paris Hilton changes clothes between shows in her chauffered Bentley, where the driver gets an eyeful of our national nightmare. [Gatecrasher (3rd item)]
• Also? She's a retard. [TMZ]
• Jimmy Fallon gets drunk, acts like an ass in front of a bunch of lesbians. [R&M (bottom of page)]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar steals black Chanel nail polish. So bad ass, so street. [Lowdown]
• Your tax dollars keep Brangelina safe. [Us Weekly]
• We know you mean well, but OMG GEORGE CLOONEY STFU. [AP]